“An amazing thing happens when you stop seeking approval and validation: You find it.” —Mandy Hale
So many talented people dim their own light because they’re worried about seeking the approval of others.
As creatives, we know it can be hard putting your work into the world without the fear of judgment and criticism. However, you will constantly hold yourself back from tapping into the flow of creativity if you’re constantly looking to others for validation and acceptance.
In this episode of The Elevated Life®, we share How to Stop Seeking Approval so that you can step up as the the leader in your own life.
Tune in to hear:
How creatives can be sidelined by focusing on the approval of others
Why your need for validation is keeping you from achieving your dreams
The simple practice that Chris and I use to determine whether something feels aligned for us
Why comparing yourself with others will paralyze you
The #1 Reason Creatives Fail
We see so many creative, talented people stuck living mundane lives. They’re scared to put themselves out there and take action on their dreams, and the only thing stopping them isn’t time or money. It’s their need to seek approval.
They are constantly asking themselves questions like:
“What will my parents say?”
“Who am I to share this gift with the world?”
“Am I qualified to do this? I didn’t go to college!”
They dim their own light because they’re worried that other people’s opinions will dim it for them.
Ask Yourself: “What Dreams Am I Not Taking Action On Out of Fear?”
A woman recently came into my hair salon and told me “I’ve been wanting to come to you for 5 years.”
I asked her, “What took you so damn long!?” and she expressed her fear of change and her fear of leaving her other hairdresser.
So I asked her “If it took you 5 years to come to a hair salon, what other dreams are you sitting on that you could have taken action on?”
As we continued talking, she shared that there were so many things that she wanted to do that she hadn’t done because she was worried about what “other people” would think. This is the fear we hear echoed by so many creatives.
Practice Saying “No”
As Oprah says “No is a complete sentence.”
If you’re presented with a task that rates below a 7 for you on a scale of 1 – 10, there are a few actions you can take other than just saying “yes.”
1) Don’t do it.
2) Delegate it to someone else.
3) Make a mindset shift to bring that task up to a 7 in your mind. For example: Doing laundry probably doesn’t rate high on your scale, but you can shift your mindset to recognize that doing laundry provides you with beautiful, clean clothes to wear.
Never compare your Chapter 1 to someone else’s Chapter 20.
When I look at Marie Forleo, one of my inspirations, I am amazed by all that she’s accomplished. She’s written a book, gone on an incredible book tour, and has over 30,000 members in B-School. When I start comparing myself to her, I have to remind myself that I started 6 years ago and she started over 20 years ago!
They say it takes 10 years to become an overnight success, so don’t get fooled by the success stories you see on Instagram.
Take on the philosophy “If they can do it, then so can I.”
Tune in and let us know in the comments below which tips you’re going to put into practice.
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Have you ever wondered why some people seem so positive and happy and others are angry and worried?
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